Every day we should appreciate our mothers! Or at least that’s what Shelly Minton says.

Shelly’s mother, Suzan, recently celebrated her 84th birthday in April. Suzan had never lived alone before, having moved from her parents’ home directly into marriage. She spent 62 wonderful years with her late husband before being widowed.

Shelly’s family had a close bond while growing up, and this closeness continued even after Shelly got married. They maintained a tradition of meeting for breakfast on Saturdays, a tradition that still holds true today. Shelly, accompanied by her husband Mark, picks up her mom from her apartment in the Sommerset Neighborhood to meet with Michael. Their breakfast spot of choice is the renowned local steak place, Cattlemen’s (which surprisingly serves breakfast!)

On Mother’s Day, Shelly’s brother Michael promised to take their mother out on Sunday if Shelly organized something on Saturday. Knowing Suzan’s love for chocolate, Michael always brings her a box of Godiva chocolates or one of her other favorite brands. Shelly, on the other hand, surprised her mom with a gift certificate for Jitters, a local coffee shop. Since discovering iced coffee six months ago, Suzan has become fond of various flavors and iced chai lattes. Going for a drive with their iced coffees has become their favorite pastime.

Suzan and her late husband Frank led an active life. Suzan worked until she had Shelly and her brother, after which she became a stay-at-home mom. Shelly considers herself fortunate to have had a mom who was always available for them, and she appreciates her parents’ commitment to staying together. As a family, they made weekly visits to the grandparents, and Shelly’s parents never missed any of her or her brother’s sports games. Their house was a popular gathering place, and even after Shelly and Michael grew up, their friends would visit their parents more often than Shelly and Michael did!

However, life took a challenging turn when Suzan was diagnosed with dementia and Alzheimer’s. For two years, Shelly and her brother Michael have taken turns caring for their parents. With their father, Frank, also affected by dementia, Shelly and Michael realized how much their mom had been having to manage on her own. They chose to split the 24-hour care between the two of them, which was made possible since Michael was preparing for retirement. Coordination was key as they communicated to determine who would take their mom to doctor appointments or the hairdresser, trying to fit it around their work hours.

In November 2022, Suzan made a life-changing decision to move into Sommerset Neighborhood, a senior living community in Oklahoma City. Though it can feel like a daunting choice to transition a loved one to a nursing home or assisted living facility, Shelly, Suzan’s daughter, and her family believed it was the right step for their mother’s well-being.  They understood the importance of not waiting until it was too late to make the adjustment.

Suzan’s decision to move was influenced by several falls she had experienced, including one in her yard while watering her plants with her walker.

“It affected my dynamic with my husband, because I spent more nights there with Mom than my husband. My husband has been very understanding and we’re working things out.”

When they went to Sommerset Neighborhood to tour, Shelly was excited to find out there were several moms of families from church living there. She also loved the beautiful windows she saw when she visited. Her Mom was used to having a view of the creek, seeing foxes and cardinals, and Shelly knew she would appreciate being able to look out at nature. She saw that the sense of community balanced with the supportive care that Shelly’s mom needs, would allow her to maintain her independence.

When Shelly and Michael decided the Sommerset senior living community was perfect, Suzan initially didn’t want to move, but Shelly asked her “Would you give it a try for 90 days, and if you don’t like it you can go somewhere else, but you can’t stay here.” Shelly said it can be hard to reason with your parent, but her mother agreed.

Suzan loves decorating, and once she agreed to move, she got to choose the color of paint for her accent walls in her new apartment; in her bathroom, bedroom and kitchen area. She also got to pick the peel and stick tiles for the bathroom. She made such delightful choices that the marketing team asked to use her home as a standard model! Her apartment is very happy. She was calling it home in two weeks.

Shelly recalls “It can feel like you’re letting your parent down by putting them in a facility, this July it would have been 3 years of caring for her at home.” Shelly says “We thought we were moving her into a community for us, but it’s actually a relief for her- she’s made all these friends, she loves the community. She’s at the dining hall at 5am before anyone gets there. Sometimes when we get there to take her out, she doesn’t even want to come with us- she’s having so much fun she just says ‘I’ll just stay here.’”

Suzan also loves the food- that was the clincher! They get dessert at lunch and at dinner- and Suzan thinks that’s just fabulous. Shelly made sure her mom has a view out her window in her senior apartment, but turns out Suzan doesn’t even care about that really. She’s not big on joining big group games, but she keeps her door about a hand width open – she doesn’t want to join everything but she also doesn’t want to miss anything!  During meals, she consistently sought out a seat by the window in the dining area, relishing the views that the living areas provided.

Shelly had worried about the absence of her mother’s personal holiday decorations, but Yvonne, the staff member responsible for decorations at Sommerset, exceeded all expectations. Suzan adored Yvonne’s creative touches both inside and outside. Suzan especially loves sitting outside on the patio furniture and looking at the decorations in the trees swinging in the breeze.

The director has a Yorkie and she’ll dress him up in adorable outfits and Suzan loves that also!

Shelly reflected on how her parents met in the cutest way. When her mom Suzan was cruising at Holly’s drive-in with a girlfriend, her dad Frank’s brother hit her mom’s car. When Suzan went to his house to get the insurance information to pay for the repairs, Frank was heading out the door to a softball game and they met! It never would have happened if Frank’s brother hadn’t hit her car.

Shelly shared her secret to life: “We enjoy that we’re not perfect at all, and we laugh a lot at ourselves.”

The journey Suzan embarked upon at Sommerset Neighborhood exemplifies the nurturing, supportive care available within senior living communities. It is a testament to the opportunities for independent living, custodial assistance, memory care, and skilled support that can be found in such communities. As families navigate the challenges of aging and seek the best care for their loved ones, Sommerset Neighborhood stands as a beacon of hope and a testament to the positive impact of choosing a nurturing senior living environment.